The Faith Workout

Ten years ago this week, I sat in a room at UNC Hospital with my husband waiting and praying for him to receive a Liver Transplant. This week, almost ten years to the DAY  he received his transplant, I sat in a room at Carolinas Medical Center in Pineville with my daughter Caitlin. She has a chronic disease called Ulcerative Colitis and it came to a roaring "flare" while she was in Slovakia and peaked this past weekend. Early Monday morning around 4 am Caitlin called and told us she was in the ER at CMC. That begin an exercise of faith. A "Faith Workout" if you will.

While waiting for Rod's transplant and during the days afterward, I began reading the Mitford series by Jan Karon. In the first book of the series, Home in Mitford, the characters are discussing Faith. This is what I read :

"Faith by its very nature must be tried",  he said. (the character was quoting Oswald Chambers).

"Do you agree?" 

"Absolutely! I've never been one for physical exercise", she said "but what God does with our faith must be something like workouts.

He sees to it that our faith gets pushed and pulled, stretched and pounded, taken to its limits so its limits can expand."

 He liked that-taken to its limits so its limits can expand. Yes!

"If it doesn't get exercised", she said thoughtfully, "it becomes like a weak muscle that fails us when we need it."

He felt himself smiling foolishly, though his question was serious. "Would you agree that we must be willing to thank God for every trial of our faith, no matter how severe, for the greater strength it produces?"

"I'm perfectly willing to say it, but I'm continually unable to do it."

"There's the rub!" 

Yes, there's the rub. I would like to thank God for every trial but I'm continually unable to do it. This week has been one of those weeks. My faith has been through a workout and I am having a hard time thanking God for it. Sometimes, exercise just isn't fun!
We are born with muscles, but the muscles don't become stronger without exercise. I have faith in my God but my faith won't grow stronger if it is not "worked out". God doesn't want my faith to stay weak, He knows my limits need to be expanded.  Just as I work my body, pushing and pulling, stretching and pounding, so must God push, pull, stretch and pound my faith. Exercise can be tough and make you sweat! Sometimes it even hurts. I don't always like working out but it is necessary for the muscles to stay strong. So it is with Faith. It must be "worked out". It sometimes hurts, sometimes I wonder why, sometimes I don't want participate in the "class". Most of the time I don't see or feel results during the workout itself.
When Rod was sick, I often asked "Why?" I couldn't see results. I couldn't see the big picture like God could. He knows what's behind and what's ahead. He knows what's best and I have to trust in his Sovereignty. That requires some exercise! Ten years later, I have been blessed to see results. I see why God left Rod here longer. I see how God has used Rod and the faith He grew in all of us for the greater good. But it's easy to see now, ten years later. It's not easy to see the greater good when I watch my daughter suffer at the present time.  I don't understand why she has to suffer. I don't understand why she has to live with the awful disease she has! I am being pushed, pulled, stretched and pounded and I don't like it. I am even resisting it. I want the workout to end.  But then I remember back to that hospital room at UNC. I think back to how my faith was so "out of shape" and I remember it's because of that workout, my faith grew stronger and I can trust in Him more,  in His sovereignty, His goodness, and His unfailing love. God used the "workout" ten years ago to produce greater faith endurance and strength. It produced a greater understanding of Who He is and His great power. Yes, it's hard to thank him for the exercise I am now experiencing but I must!  I know God is doing a work in Caitlin's life for the greater good. I trust Him with the big picture. It's hard to sit, wait, and watch but I know I must wait patiently for His will to be done, knowing that adversity will strengthen my faith and Caitlin's. During this hard exercise I will dig deeper into God's Word, I will drop more to my knees in prayer, I will lift my hands higher in praise. I KNOW He sees Caitlin and our family. I KNOW He sees our tears and hears our cries for help. I KNOW the suffering will not be wasted and I KNOW His presence is with us. And for that I must thank him, continually.
Exercise can be tough, and a Workout of Faith can be tougher, but the end result can be joyous!

And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. 1 Peter 5:10